Showing posts from April, 2010

My Lovely New Wedges

Check out these fabulous shoes I bought yesterday. I normally don't shop. My excuse? I'm a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding and needed gold heels.

Aren't they great? These are a little adventurous for me. I normally stick with flats and fairly conservative ones at that. But I am loving these. My sister was so proud!

By the way if you are reading this, I still need get-away suggestions! Read the post below. Thanks!!

Thankful for the Sun

I am thankful for the sun. It has come out. Literally. Today it was sunny. But today, also, for the first time in four weeks, I was also truly happy. Not just okay. Or fine. I was happy. I know that it's still a long road and that I need to treasure these days, but it gives me hope that there will be joyful, happy days even after my brother's death.

Thanks for bearing with me these last few weeks. The posts may have been hard to read for some of you. And I can't guarantee there won't be more of those. I'm processing. But the sun is back, and today it's shining. I'm thankful for that.

While I'm talking about happy things, I have something you could help me with. The hubs and I are wanting to take a trip.My dad, so generously, gave me miles for my birthday last year. Woo-hoo! So we can fly anywhere. We had talked originally about going to visit friends, but now I'm kinda wanting to do something on our own. What are your thoughts? If we went somewhere …

Redeemer of Circumstances

A friend sent me this quote today. I don't have the energy to integrate it into a post or share my thoughts. All I know is it's brought me comfort. God won't waste my pain. He won't waste a single tear.

This quote is just a reminder of that truth. God has not only redeemed me, but He has redeemed my circumstances as well. This is true whether we find ourselves facing grief, an addiction, an unwanted pregnancy, or something else we never dreamed we'd face. Our God redeems it all.

"God is not only a Redeemer of our sin, but He is a Redeemer of our circumstances as well.  He will not waste a single problem, a single heartache, a single tear.  Our God is a Redeemer God, and He stands minute by minute before us, inviting us to let Him have the sorrow, to let Him have the pain, to let Him have the disappointment.  To trust Him to make something useful, something creative of every tragedy that darkens our lives.” (Quote taken from an unknown book... tell me if you kno…


I was missing my brother this weekend, so I decided to take one of his t-shirts and make it into a pillow. I mean, an XXL t-shirt is too big for a comfy night shirt. So I put it to good use!

Austen wore this shirt all the time. It actually had holes under the arms... and it's really thin in places. He loved it. And now I can love it too.

2 Weeks

It's been a little more than two weeks since my heart broke. Two loooong weeks. I'm not even sure how it's only been two weeks to be quite honest.

While in Houston, I had good time with family, especially siblings. Love you guys! It was refreshing to be able to bicker with them in the midst of such pain and grief. That may sound strange. But there's something special about the relationship between siblings. With a sibling, you fight just because you can. And you don't always mean it either. But even when you do mean it, the relationship isn't severed. It perseveres because that's the beauty of family. You love each other despite of your differences.

 William likes to pinch our love handles. We have to protect ourselves.
A sibling trip to Tastee Delite. Brendon took the pic. Left to right: William (17), Madison (William's girlfriend), Meg (step sis, 14), Cassidy (Austen's half sis), Anabelle (16), and me. We were just missing Alex (11) and Baby Morgan (1…

Our Bodies

I keep thinking back to the visitation on Wednesday night. I saw my brother's body laying in the casket, yet it looked nothing like him. Nothing like him.

I know people say that a lot when people die. And when I've had grandparents die, I thought they looked slightly off - not like their normal selves. But this was different. My brother was a big guy, with lots of chub on his face. Yet somehow that wasn't what I saw on Wednesday. His forehead looked huge. His cheeks were slim. His eyes were sunken in. And his nose wasn't flat.

Growing up in my family we used to have contests to see who could hang a spoon on their nose the longest. I was usually a finalist. My pointed nose lends itself to spoon balancing quite well. But my brother could never even get the spoon to hang from his nose. His nose was too flat. No point on it at all. So where did that nose come from on Wednesday?

The body does funny things when life leaves it. I just didn't realize I wouldn't recogn…

Isaiah 61

It's been a long week. I'm just now able to go through some of the Scriptures people have sent. I'll continue to post them as they come.

Isaiah 61, A Servant Song:

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 andprovide for those who grievein Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.